


you may miss your only love (the best thing for being sad)

by laminy



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: Crying, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-23 19:49:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17689757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laminy/pseuds/laminy
Summary: Joe calls Ben in the middle of the night, alone and crying. He just really misses the sound of his boyfriend's voice.





	you may miss your only love (the best thing for being sad)

**Author's Note:**

> mention of spoilers for _Only The Brave_ (a 2017 movie Ben was in).

Ben slowly drifts awake to the rhythmic vibrations of his phone on his nightstand. He groans and stretches his legs out under the blankets as he reaches over, fumbling for it in the dark. He’s greeted by his boyfriend’s name, and when Ben sees what time it is, he wonders if there’s something wrong. “Hello?” he asks, voice rough with sleep.

He can hear Joe sniffling on the other end, then him taking a few deep breaths, as if to calm himself. Ben pushes himself up, leaning against his headboard. “Joe, are you okay?” he asks. He feels wide awake now. “What’s going on?”

“I did something dumb,” Joe says quietly, and then there’s more sniffling.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Ben says. “Whatever it is, we can figure it out. Where are you? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Joe mutters. “God, now I feel dumb for calling. It’s so late there, I woke you up, I’m sorry. I just…”

Ben takes a deep breath, waiting for Joe to continue. He pulls at his blankets, still trying to stay covered up against the chill in his room. 

“I wasn’t feeling well,” Joe says. “Like, not sick. I was feeling depressed. Sad. You ever get that feeling where you feel like shit and you just want to cry it out so that you’ll feel really bad for awhile, but you know that after that, you’ll feel better?”

“Erm, sort of?” Ben replies. “I guess a good cry never hurt anybody, but Joe, are you okay? You know you can call, I _want_ you to call when you feel like that. I don’t know how much I can help from here, but at least cry it out with me, yeah?”

Joe sniffles. “Yeah well, my plan was a lot dumber than that.”

Ben stifles a yawn, and sinks down a bit into his bed. “Joe, I— what did you do?” he asks, voice full of concern.

“So I missed you, and I wanted to see you,” Joe says. “So I thought I’d watch one of your movies, to cheer myself up. And then I just— I missed my dad, too. And I wanted to cry. But for some reason, I couldn’t. So I thought...”

Ben groans softly. “Joe, I told you not to watch that movie.”

“Yeah well, I didn’t listen, did I?” Joe snaps. “ _Fuck_ , Ben, you didn’t tell me it was _that_ sad.”

Ben wants to laugh, but he knows he shouldn’t, so he just clears his throat. “Uh, yeah, I did,” he says. “That’s why I told you not to watch it.” Repeatedly, he’d told Joe repeatedly, do _not_ watch that movie. At least not without him. Because of this exact reason.

“It was so sad, Ben,” Joe says softly, sounding broken, and in that moment, Ben wishes for nothing more than to be able to show up in New York and wrap his arms around Joe, and pull him in. “It was— god, it was awful.”

“I know it was.” Ben settles down a bit further, grabbing one of his pillows, tugging it towards him. He curls against it, resting his head on it, like he wants to rest his head against Joe. He can’t even think that about the movie without getting upset himself.

"I just," Joe sniffles a couple times, "I can't imagine, you know? How _scared_ , and— the pain? You know?" Joe’s voice breaks and Ben can hear it, he’s started to cry again. "I knew it'd be sad, but I just—" Joe lets out a small whimper as he continues to cry.

"I know," Ben says quietly. It's all he can say, really. Making that movie was difficult for him, for all of them. Now listening to Joe cry, it's breaking his heart all over again. "I can't imagine either. I— I don't _want_ to. It's really hard to think about. How awful it was."

Joe sniffles loudly. “And it didn’t work anyway, because it just made me miss you more,” he continues. “Because it was like, I could see you, but I wasn’t with you, and then I— the credits came on, and there were all the pictures of them with their families, and then I couldn’t stop thinking about the kids that lost their dads.” Joe stops, taking a few deep breaths before continuing on. “And then I _really_ started crying, and then I couldn’t stop crying, and I—” Joe starts sobbing even harder. Ben closes his eyes, trying to keep his own tears back. “And I really miss you,” Joe says, breathing hard through his tears, “and I _really_ miss my dad, and I’m so lonely here, I just— I wish I wasn’t here, I wish I was in London with you.” 

Ben lays in his bed, listening to the sound of Joe crying, and his stomach twists. He feels a bit ill, honestly, unsure of what to say or how to reassure Joe that it will all be alright, they’ll see each other soon, it’s okay. He’s worried that anything he says will just upset him further.

Joe sniffles loudly. “Are you still there?” he asks.

“Of course I am, love,” Ben replies quietly. “I just— I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, Joe. I wish…well, I wish a lot of things, really. I wish you were here. I wish I could help.”

“ _Please_ don’t ever become a firefighter,” Joe pleads. "Please don't ever leave me like that."

Ben has to smile at that. “Don’t worry, love, that’s not going to happen.” The line is quiet for a long moment, and Ben frowns, wondering if Joe’s hung up, or if the call got dropped. He’s about to speak up, when Joe finally continues.

“I miss you.”

Ben nods quickly, feeling the prickle of tears again. “I miss you too. God, I miss you.” _Desperately_ , he thinks. He can feel a yawn coming on, and he tries to stifle it, biting down on his lip, but it gets out anyway. 

“You should go back to sleep. I’m sorry I woke you up,” Joe says sadly.

“No, no, not until you’re okay,” Ben says. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise?” Joe asks, and finally his voice sounds just a little bit happy, or just hopeful, again.

“Yeah, promise,” Ben replies. “Of course. Just talk to me. Or— or I can talk to you. What do you want me to say?”

There’s a rustling on the other end of the line, and it sounds like Joe’s settling into bed himself, pulling up the blankets before picking up his phone again.

“I love you,” Joe says quietly.

Ben smiles. “I love you.”

There’s more rustling, and Ben can just picture Joe wrapped up in all his blankets; how he doesn’t sweat to death Ben will never figure it out. He’s like a furnace when they’re in bed together.

“How much do you love me?”

Ben laughs, and it’s so loud in the dark quiet of his bedroom. “Oh, it’s _that_ kind of a phone call, is it?” he asks, teasing.

“No, just…” Joe trails off, and it’s his turn to yawn now. “Remind me. Tell me a story? Just so I can fall asleep.”

Ben sighs, blinking up at his ceiling, trying to think of what to say. “I love you,” he says again.

“Mm,” Joe murmurs, and Ben smiles.

“And I’m going to be there soon, right?”

“Yeah, soon,” Joe agrees, and it sounds to Ben like he’s already half-asleep. Crying tires him out, plus it’s late there too.

Ben clears his throat, and sits up a bit, trying not to fall asleep before Joe does. “I started a new book a couple days ago, do you want me to…”

“Yes, please.”

Ben pushes himself up far enough to grab his book off his nightstand, and then flicks on his lamp. He squeezes his eyes shut at the bright light, slowly opening them again, blinking a few times to adjust. “K, just gimme a sec.” He turns his phone on speakerphone, sets it down, then he clears his throat gently, “Joe, you still with me?”

“Mm, yeah,” Joe replies, but it’s with another yawn.

“Okay. _The Wart lay awake as he had been told to do. He was to wait until Kay was asleep, and then Archimedes would come for him with Merlyn’s magic. He lay under the great bearskin and stared out of the window at the stars of spring, no longer frosty and metallic, but as if they had been new washed and had swollen with moisture._ ”

“Ben?”

“Hmm?”

“What the hell is this?”

Ben laughs softly. “ _The Once and Future King_.”

“The King Arthur thing?” Joe asks.

“Yeah.”

Joe snorts in amusement. “God, you’re a walking stereotype. Are you eating crumpets with the Queen right now too?”

“Well, when I wake you up at 3 o’clock in the morning, you can regale me with tales of American football or whatever it is you want, but I’m reading this to you now, okay? Now do you want me to hang up or do you want me to keep going?”

There’s a pause. “Keep going, please,” Joe replies. “I really missed the sound of your voice. You sound like a BBC documentary.”

Ben chuckles softly. “Well, I missed the sound of your voice too.”

“Ben?”

“Yeah?”

“Promise not to make anymore sad movies?”

Ben smiles. “Uh, I can try. For you. No promises, though, Mister _Simon Birch_.” He remembers watching that one when he was a kid. He can't bring himself to watch it again now that he actually knows Joe.

“Okay, I deserve that, I guess.” Joe yawns loudly, then he’s silent.

Ben waits for a moment, head cocked towards his phone, listening, wondering if Joe’s suddenly fallen asleep.

“I'm still here,” Joe says quietly. “Can you keep reading? I think it was getting good.” Ben smiles.

“Alright. _It was a lovely evening, without rain or cloud. The sky between the stars was the deepest and fullest velvet._ ” He keeps reading, his voice growing softer and softer as the moments go on, hoping that Joe will fall asleep to the sound of his voice. After he’s gone minutes without Joe saying anything, he carefully closes the book, and reaches over, setting it on his nightstand. He picks up his phone, then puts it to his ear, listening for a few moments longer. “Goodnight, Joe,” he says quietly. He’s about to end the call when he hears Joe make a quiet noise in his sleep. Ben smiles, and reaches over to turn off his lamp. He lays back down and gets comfortable, putting the phone on his pillow beside his head. He turns the volume up, and hears Joe murmur softly. Ben smiles, and snuggles in, letting his heavy eyelids drift closed.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know WHAT this is, except I watched _Only The Brave_ tonight, knowing full-well that it would make me bawl my eyes out (which it did), just because I wanted to see Ben and his maybe four minutes of screen time. Anyway, it made me depressed, and it made me write this, and this is just the fluffiest fluffy fluff fluff ever, I feel silly to have written it (god if you hate it though, please just don't tell me).
> 
> Title is from _The Once and Future King_ , which Ben is reading from (for no other reason than it is English and I am currently reading it).


End file.
